A License to Intimidate

History of Greed

A license to intimidate

Bully, oppress and subjugate

Terrorize, coerce and dictate

Show off, strut and intimidate

When you've got money and power

What's yours must grow like a flower

You build yourself a big tower

While others can only cower

The Working Poor
Invisible in America

The one who dies with the most toys

Is winner among all the boys

Who cares about lives it destroys

The needy are just background noise

What would really be such a switch

If the powerful and the rich

Would really care a single stitch

Instead of stocking up on kitsch

Let's Disagree Agreeably

Disagreement

Why are you judgmental of me
It's quite okay to disagree
And my ideas don't have to be
A duplicate of your decree

Maybe our choices are diverse
But please don't think you're my wet nurse
Don't be a bully or coerce
'Cause if you do it just gets worse

Respecting Others

Let's disagree agreeably
And don't give me the third degree
I won't judge you and don't judge me
And we won't need a referee

Those touchy topics leave alone
Our disagreements are well known
But we don't need a combat zone
Give peace a chance, calm down our tone

The Back-Stabbing Critic

Toxic Criticism

With flattery laid on real thick
Beware the back-stabbing critic
At others they will toss a brick
Excused as just analytic

Behind your back they'll denounce you
For the imperfect things you do
Never trust the people that spew
Disparagement of all to you

Criticism
Management

To your face they'll call you a friend
And your ways they'll even commend
But when you dare show your back end
All pretense they will then suspend

So when you meet a flatterer
Please learn to be a connoisseur
You may have met a saboteur
Who could soon make your name a slur

A Sneeze

Sinus Survival

Convulsive expulsion of air

A semi-autonomous scare

Can happen almost anywhere

A sneeze catches folks unaware

Here comes a sneeze oh God bless you

Is it the trees and Spring's debut

Things on the breeze you react to

Gesundheit! Please grab a tissue

Fresh Vegetables

and Fruit Juices

The sniffle is not a big deal

Some sneeze with a squeak or a squeal

The silent sneeze is quite genteel

But a whinny has crowd appeal

Here comes a sneeze oh God bless you

Is it the trees and Spring's debut

Things on the breeze you react to

Gesundheit! Please grab a tissue

Arithmetic Acrobatics

Harrington
on Hold'em

Poker is just mathematics
Arithmetic acrobatics
Unperturbed no tilt dramatics
Calculated systematics

It's really just a game of skill
And played where folks can have free will
From Göteborg to Notting Hill
Paris and Rome are online still

Super System
Doyle Brunson

Now when the cards are dealt to you
Don't let yourself get in a stew
Allow your thoughts some time to brew
Patiently let your chips accrue

There's sharks and fish to play with you
And donkeys yes it's quite a zoo
Bluffing, tilting, waiting for you
Hoping that you don't have a clue

Stink Bugs

All year long we suffer stink bugs
On the wall and on the floor rugs
On my heart strings gently he tugs
He's cute maybe he just wants hugs

Can you grab a tissue — okay
Please hurry up and don't delay
Let's catch it quick while we still may
And then let's flush it right away

They're on the ceiling, in the car
They're everywhere both near and far
So please don't leave the door ajar
Who kills them all will be a star

Tattoos & Giggle Squiggles

Tattoo History

I want a tramp stamp on my skin
A giggle squiggle is no sin
Ink on your bod' is really in
'Cause skin art is the way to win

On the other hand I hate pain
And it won't wash off in the rain
And tattoos some folks do disdain
So maybe I'll just stay plain Jane

Chasing an Inflated Pigskin

The Football Book

Chasing an inflated pigskin
Injuring head and knee and shin
Like they escaped a loony bin
Football's the game they want to win

Men pound and maul seems like a brawl

You may recall a real close call

So that's football once and for all

And above all it does enthrall

A Beautiful Game
Soccer

They run across a grassy field
With injuries they hope are healed
And strategies that are concealed
And penalties that are appealed

Men pound and maul seems like a brawl
You may recall a real close call

So that's football once and for all

And above all it does enthrall

Achievement's Price

Maximum Achievement

When I get out of bed each day
Well I could clout my head okay
Danger's about I could be prey
There is no doubt I'd go astray

So all day long I'll be purebred
I can't go wrong right here in bed
No siren's song to be misled
I'll remain strong just sleep instead

We can't be mice awake from sleep
Just roll the dice success won't keep
Skate on the ice don't oversleep
Achievement's price is take a leap

We know that Might says what is Right

Let Freedom Ring

Land of the free home of the brave
Just let us be we're no man's slave

A new decree don't misbehave

Now there will be a new crime wave

Not 'cause it's wrong, evil or sin
But before long they will begin
Sounding the gong, so you chagrin
You don't belong, you don't fit in

Let Freedom Ring

The feds agreed, dirty and raw

A harmless deed now has a flaw
It's been decreed against the law
Unless you heed it's the last straw

We know that might says what is right
It's black and white and not polite
But if you fight they will indict
It's just our plight freedom took flight

Facebook

Facebook doesn't make sense at all
'Cause writing things upon your wall
Exposes you to one and all
Like shouting secrets in a mall

Internet graffiti is seen
By friends and strangers on the scene
And onlookers you've never seen
Including fraudsters not so clean

Most of the things that people write
Seem innocuous even trite
Sadly that can come back to bite
Identity theft's hard to fight

So just be careful what you say
Lock your profile without delay
And to the fraudster's great dismay
Your account is safer today

Beware the Automatic Flush

Toilet Seat Covers

Beware the automatic flush
They are supposed to be quite plush
But they can really make you blush
If you sit down and then they gush

Beware of those seat covers too
'Cause they're just made of light tissue
And when it's hot they'll stick to you
And when they stick they stick like glue

Toilet Seat Covers

You lift and pull the cover out
Then you fiddle the middle out
And gently place it round about
Before you sit it's flushed — you pout

I wish I had an old pull chain
Maybe an outhouse in the rain
On second thoughts I won't complain
Perhaps I should just try again

Put a Grin above your Chin

You'll go a mile
If you just smile
It gives you style
That lasts a while

Frown if you will
A look to kill
Is not a thrill
It's nothing — nil

So put a grin
Above your chin
It's not a sin
And you will win

They'll wonder what
You may have tho't
Or if you've got
Some other plot

Scoring Snoring

NasiVent Tube

The touchy subject of snoring
I hope you don't find it boring
I'd like to introduce scoring
So let's begin by exploring

Heavy breathing's at level one
But that means we've only begun
Then the wheeze cannot be undone
It's really not very much fun

Snore-Ex

The whistle defines level three
And then comes the snuffle you see
Level five you may want to flee
It's a buzz though to small degree

Sawing logs is another notch
Please concentrate we mustn't botch
The noises from the midnight watch
They'll make you want to drink some scotch

Nasivent Tube

Of the next please be quite wary
Level seven can be scary
The snort will not make you merry
Worst? The snark sounds quite contrary

Please snore no more

Or shut the door

I do implore
Sound I abhor